A couple of months ago, I wrote about a new diagnosis I’m dealing with, resistance to thyroid hormone, here. According to my endocrinologist, something like less than one percent of all thyroid patients deal with this complication. I didn’t share that post on social media for a variety of reasons, at the time. I wasn’t really ready to face it, I guess. I’ve been frozen from posting anything much online for a variety of mostly irrational reasons. I’m not looking for pity with this post. I’m writing now and sharing this post, I guess, because I just want friends to know what’s going on in this small corner of the world.
I haven’t really shared this diagnosis with anyone outside the family, mainly, well, because summer. Summer has been going on, in full swing. I haven’t been writing outside my trusty paper journal (into which I have poured out my soul this summer) and I’ve been largely out of touch with my friends, trying to scrounge up the energy to get this new-to-us house into some semblance of order. I haven’t even shared this relatively-new blog on social media, though most of the older posts are from my previous blogs, so the posts will look familiar to some readers from my old blog who find this post via my social media.
Thyroid hormone resistance…it does, indeed, look like it’s a for-sure confirmed diagnosis, according to my appointment with my endocrinologist this week. I would be relieved to actually know what’s going on because it does explain a lot of my symptoms, but I’m too tired to be relieved. I’ve gone through the typical emotions one goes through when one deals with a new diagnosis. It mostly means that I can look forward to having my thyroid medication adjusted frequently (in increasing doses) and I’ll be seeing my endocrinologist more frequently, maybe on a permanent basis, more so than one would normally expect to do following radioactive iodine treatment. And yeah, on the vanity side of things…my hair? It’s short and I hate it. But, it’s short because that’s the easiest way to mask that it is falling out on top. I had it cut off months ago because the nearly shoulder-length hair made the thinning on top far more obvious, to me anyway. Maybe TMI, but that’s part of what’s going on.
My energy levels may or may not get better. That unknown is going to continue to be awfully hard on my three boys. It is hard on Jared. The fact that my hard-to-treat depression likely has a medical reason does not make me feel better at this point. Everything that goes into being severely hypothyroid, I may continue to deal with on a fairly regular basis, even with aggressive and continuous treatment.
I am fighting the low energy, though. I am trying to take better care of myself, starting with eating better. I am a horridly picky eater; I have been a picky eater my whole life, so the best I can do to start with is smoothies and the few fruits I do like. And more nuts, less cheese. It’s small, but it’s a start. I’ve started doing small exercises again, particularly working on upper body strength– that’s what has suffered most with my lethargy over the past few years.
And, I am fighting the depression like mad. I have largely caved to the desire to isolate myself this summer, but I’ve taken some baby steps to combat that issue, too. Thank God summertime is almost over and we will be back in some semblance of a routine that will force me out of the house occasionally, for the kids’ sake, if nothing else. But, it is a real downer that I will likely continue to fight the depression indefinitely, due to the fact that my brain just won’t accept that it’s getting more than enough replacement thyroid hormone. It figures that my brain would be irrational like that at a basic level.
I appreciated my doctor’s lighthearted attitude about the whole thing, though, when I asked about exactly how rare the condition is…I’ve been a “freak of nature” my whole life, so why not add one more thing to the mix of unusual things about Caroline? 🙂
Anyway, thanks for reading.